But God Meant it for Good!

by Dan
(St. Louis, MO)

Twenty years ago, Kelly and Scott Grissom fell in love at church. Both of their fathers are pastors, and the couple met when Kelly's father preached at the church led by Scott's dad.

Then, when their daughter was diagnosed with autism eight years ago, the couple found solace at church. They prayed at first for a miracle cure, then for good schools and therapists.

And today, they have found a new start at church, this one of their own making. The Grissoms started Open Arms, a United Pentecostal Community, to help parents of all faiths and their special needs children.

"We were so immersed in helping her that we put everything on the back burner," said Scott. "It didn't seem like full-time ministry was going to be part of our future. After we were here for a couple of years we looked at who our friends were, and they were families with children with special needs. It dawned on us that a lot of them didn't attend church because they weren't able to."

Open Arms (openarmsupc.org) meets one or two Saturday evenings a month at the Taiwanese Presbyterian Church in Ballwin. Scott serves as pastor while Kelly and a group of volunteer therapists and seminary students instruct children.

How did Alexandra's diagnosis test your faith?

Up until that point, every prayer we prayed had been answered in a pretty favorable way. And then we have this devastating thing happen. So then our prayers were that God would heal her and that a miracle would happen. That prayer was not answered in a way we wanted. So then you start to get an understanding of what true faith is because you either believe everything you've been taught or everything you've been taught isn't real. It's amazing how God has been there for us with a million little miracles to get her the help she needs.

Explain why it is hard for parents of special needs kids to get to church?

If you have a child that has behaviors and you don't know how they are going to act when they go to a new place, it can be really stressful. You don't know the looks or the reactions you're going to get. These are people with really stressful lives. It's hard to even go to the grocery store. We have people who didn't go to church and then, all of a sudden, you really need God and faith and a church community in a way that you never did before. When people come, I think they are surprised how emotional they get. Parts of them are touched that they had forgotten about. You put so much aside when you get a diagnosis. You don't eat as healthy as you should, exercise goes. So you know spiritual needs are going out the window.

Can children with special needs really understand God?

People will say kids with special needs don't need to learn about God. We feel some kids are at a level of understanding that they can learn character and biblical truths. Other kids aren't there, but we feel like we're giving them good building blocks. When a kid with autism grows up, he or she can have depression, anxiety. So it's very important that they have exposure to faith. At this point we know the kids so well that when we have curriculum team meetings we can pick different elements each kid will respond to. It's like the special education they get at school only it's special Christian education.

How have you maintained a strong marriage?

Our marriage is stronger, but it has been tried. There is so much pressure. When you first get the diagnosis, you're up all night trying to figure out ways to help. You end up not having time for your spouse or your friends. I wish someone had told me, it isn't a race, it's a marathon. Eight years later we're still at it. You can get to a point where you are approaching burnout. So you realize it's OK to take a night off and have a date night.