Christian Words Of Encouragement...I Shall Live and not Die

I remember the feeling as if the world were spinning uncontrollably around me and I just needed it to stop so I can get off. I hurt so badly. I remember the all encompassing pain that consumed me, eating away at my spirit, slowly draining life’s essence out of me. Death had to be better, a respite from the inner turmoil. I could not see anything beyond all the hurt.

Joshua would teach me that rusting Jesus is the most liberating experience ever.

The sharp pain, so gut wrenching and intense that it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. It swept throughout me, from somewhere deep inside, threatening to completely submerge me in its potency. My pastor’s wife, drove frantically to the hospital, where, as the Lord would have it, she also worked as a social worker.

The details all blur together, from, the arrival at the emergency entrance, to the wheelchair to get me quickly upstairs to the maternity ward. I had just been there a few weeks before, in severe pain. The nurses moved quickly to get me in a bed, and connected to IV fluids. There was no thought of the prophetic utterance, some two years earlier, at youth camp, that I was pregnant with a difficult pregnancy, which would bring forth a healthy ministry. It indeed had been a difficult pregnancy. The expectation was to have me stabilized, and once the pain subsided, as it had done before when I was at the hospital before, I would return home.

I remember a sudden urge to use the bathroom, and waddling over, IV tubes in tow, to the bathroom just across from my room. I had no sooner returned to my bed, the nurse helping me to settle in, that we were met with the most unimaginable occurrence. In a moment, it seemed like seconds, the triage team descended all around me. I had no idea of what was happening. There was such an urgency, professionals working fastidiously, billowing all around me. It could really only have been a few moments that passed as someone imparted to me the little nugget, my baby was here. It seemed inconceivable as I was not even six months pregnant as yet. I had just started my 23rd week of pregnancy.

Joshua emerged, suddenly, unexpectedly, miraculously, weighing one pound and five ounces. He even, unbelievably, took a couple of breaths, though his lungs were no where near developed, as they quickly attached him to the respirator. His life was in the purest sense, the gift of God.

I who had spurned life as a teenager, as I weaved in and out of depressive bouts, was left in wonder of this tiny gift who so embraced life, when he was fully encapsulated by death. He was not developed, so how could he be alive? Yet, he breathe on his own. He determined to lay hold of life. In that moment, my Creator indicted me in the most profound ways, as to how precious is this gift of life. It comes from Him. There is no intellectualizing away the moment it begins, as the debate around whether or not a fetus is alive, often attempts to do. Here was Joshua, fully alive, yet so tiny, he could fit in the palm of my hands.

The Dessert Blooms

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit has to be the most unexpectedly miraculous places that ministers hope in very dire situations. Tiny, fragile little beings fighting for life. These children hold on with a faith that overwhelms adults, who have lived lives many times over. Yet, these little babies teach lessons on perseverance, determination, unyielding faith, radical in its commitment to life, despite all the odds. I drew such courage from Joshua. His faith inspired us all.

The doctors kept regaling us with bad reports of the obstacles that Joshua faced, obstacles that were insurmountable. He was just too undeveloped. He was born too soon. His little body was wracked with infections. His organs were not developed. He would most likely not make it.

The bad reports kept coming in succession, one after the other. But there lay Joshua, like an angel, so peaceful. An agent of the Lord Jesus’ ministration of grace, to a mother, who would forever know, and learn of an all powerful God who moves mountains.

Joshua was an inspiration and we gladly sat and sang Jesus’ praise to him. We shared all about this unique world of faith, that lay waiting to welcome him fully into the fold. We read him Words of comfort from the Bible, and reminded him, that though we would have to leave him, we knew he had angelic company, sent from the heart of the Lord Jesus to keep him constantly surrounded with love.

As Joshua continued to live, each day a testimony to the miraculous ability of the God in who we believe, greater miracles began to unfold by the mercies of our Lord Jesus.

It was a busy day in the NICU, as they tended to be. Joshua’s skin was so translucent that a special light had to be turned on in his little incubator, to keep his body temperature regulated. A plastic sheath was then to be placed over Joshua so that the light would not be directly shining on him. As the plastic sheath was pulled over Joshua’s face, using his tiny little arms, limbs so frail, they seemed like twigs that would fall off with the slightest friction.

Joshua would push the sheath off his face. We were all shocked and amazed. It had to be a reflex. There is no way he had a personality that was so distinctive as to have likes and preferences. Again, there was another attempt to fasten the sheath over his face, with the same result. The nurses came up with a compromise. They would fasten the sheath to the incubator, just above Joshua’s head, so it would not touch his face.

The Crooked Places Made Straight

Our first medical crisis in Joshua’s development snuck up on us unexpectedly. Joshua had developed strictures in his intestines. They were knotting together and would require surgery to remove the knotted portions of his intestines. The result would be that he would have to wear a colostomy bag, affixed to his side, to collect his stool. My husband and I were shaken at the prospect that such a grim report offered. We did the only thing we could. We requested prayers for his little tummy.

Our pastor, came with us to visit little Joshua, tucked away in his incubator, and he prayed with our little family, there in NICU. Our church gathered together to pray. There was prayer on every front as family, friends and strangers prayed. little Joshua was fighting for his life.

The doctors came back with the results of the test that they had done to assess how extensive the damage to his intestines were, so they could know how much they would have to remove. They could not believe it. They could see exactly the point in his intestines that had started to knot but then the knotting stopped, exactly at the point it started. There would be no need for surgery. It made no sense to the medical professionals but there is a power higher than all our abilities, with knowledge that supersedes all our skills, training and expertise.

The prayer activating power of faith in the God who made us knows no limits, no bounds. Jesus promises us in His Word, that He is the author and finisher of our faith. Dare we believe His Word?

In the book of Isaiah, he utters the prophecy of crooked places made straight, water in the dessert, the dessert that blooms, and it seems an incredulous concept, an oxymoron really. If it is crooked then how can it be straight? If it is a dessert, then how is there water flowing with blooms? The beauty of believing in Jesus is that He prunes your faith so that it bears fruit.

Pray, believing and trusting in Him and experience the awesome wonder of His answer to your prayers. A worship song I learned, not sure how fully I grasped, until my own personal encounter with Jesus’ prayer answering ability, proclaims ‘Alleluia, He is the answering God / Alleluia, he is the answering God / For I prayed Jesus Name and by faith the answer came / Alleluia, He is the answering God.’

Joshua’s journey would take us through many miraculous pathways, proving anew each time that Jesus’ love is so intimate, in His attentiveness to our heart’s cry. He cares for each and every one of us. O that we would believe!

Sometimes doubt grabs a hold of us but it is only an opportunity to prove the immutability of God’s love and omnipotence. There is nothing impossible with our Lord Jesus, nothing at all. We each have our own words of christian encouragement to share with each other.

The most persistent challenge that Joshua faced in the NICU had to do with his eyes. The eyes are the very last organs to develop in the womb before the baby is born. The combination of eyes that are not developed and the oxygen that Joshua had to be on, as his lungs had still not yet developed, led to him having an eye disease, known as Retinopathy of Prematurity, or ROP. He had it at the very worst stage, stage 4.

I remember one of the nurses explaining that Stevie Wonder had this condition. I guess in an attempt, to prepare us for the likelihood that Joshua would never see. I remember Joshua’s eye specialist expressing his concern that the disease was so advanced that he may need to remove Joshua’s eyeball. It sounded so horrific and grotesque to my husband and myself some of the medical interventions they wanted to carry out on Joshua. He was so tiny, and it seemed they wanted to just carve into him!

I remember the feeling of hopelessness that pervaded us. Again, we called for prayer from near and far. Our pastor, came with us for another special prayer meeting, with Joshua. We believe in, as a sign of faith, anointing with consecrated oil. This represents the healing balm of Jesus applied to the particular area of need, as the prayers are going out to Him.

Our pastor anointed Joshua’s eye, and we prayed. This prayer was a desperate plea for the Lord Jesus to intervene dramatically because the eye specialist had explained that he would be making the decision as to whether or not to remove Joshua’s eyeball, dependent on what he found when he surgically explored the back of his eye, to assess the extent of the damage of the ROP eye disease, which he knew was irreparable.

I remember the day of the eye surgery. Joshua was transported by ambulance from his little NICU bed in Stoneybrook, Suffolk County, to Nassau County, for the surgery to be done. My husband and I stood, our hearts in our hand, as they wheeled Joshua behind the giant operating room door and the doors closed behind them.

Neither of us said a word. We waited silently. Time seemed to pass in slow motion, yet, everything seemed motionless, as if we were transfixed in time and time stood still. It was an eerie feeling, the powerlessness of it all. Would the eye specialist return to let us know he had removed Joshua’s eyeball because the disease had caused so much damage? We could only wait to find out. We had prayed, believing, and it was now time to wait.

The doctor emerged with the news. Everything went well. It was not what he had expected at all. Joshua’s eye looked pretty good. There was a little blood but nothing at all what he expected. He did not need to do anything to Joshua’s eyeball. Glory be to God! He had to leave it in its place. Who made man’s eye?

He wanted us to have regular follow up appointments so he could assess if there is any vision in Joshua’s eyes. Joshua was back in the ambulance on his way to Stoneybrook and within the next couple of weeks, on his way home. The nurses were wonderful, in their ministering unto Joshua, caring for him with such gentle concern, there in the NICU, in his home away from home.

The NICU was a special memory for us, we saw a very present and loving Lord Jesus. We saw His faithfulness, in seeing Joshua through a desert experience, yet, providing water flowing through and beautiful, bountiful blooms of His miraculous interventions.

Joshua had a steady stream of visitors, from his grandmothers, who prayed and sang with him too, his aunt, all the way from California, and his aunts living locally, his grandfather, who came to pray and sing, and gave constant words of reminder of the power of faith in God, his godmother, his big sister, then just becoming a teenager herself, showed a very quiet faith.

He had so many well-wishers, praying for him, near and far, family and friends, and strangers too. His pastor who proved yet again that he serves a risen Savior, Jesus Christ the all wise God. We all rejoiced when, after four and a half months, through the spring and the summer, Joshua came home on that early fall afternoon.
He was strapped to about three machines, oxygen, and heart monitor, and breathing monitor, the Apnea machine, but I rejoiced as any new mom, bringing her baby home. He never had to undergo any major surgeries. There were no brain bleeds, which the doctors kept anticipating would occur. His heart was fine, so there were no heart surgeries, another major occurrence that they expected. Joshua was finally home.

The next three years would show the continued healing power of the Lord Jesus. We prayed and prayed some more. Joshua grew into a bundle of energy, it is hard to believe the journey he traveled to get to that point, and the next phase of his journey to get to where he is now. It builds an anticipation for all that the Lord Jesus has in store.

Each developmental milestone was met with such unresponsiveness that it left the experts on his intervention and medical team very flustered. We would get so heart broken and concerned as they gave us the bad report. Joshua did not seem to be hitting whichever milestone was the cause of concern at the time. Yet, each time, we could only rely on our faith and we prayed.

There seems to have been so many prayer meetings. Joshua would not hold up his head, then he would not roll over, he would not creep and he would not walk when it the time for him to walk. The recommendation was a special chair used with children with cerebral palsy to help to increase his body tone, and upper body strength. For each challenge Joshua faced, we prayed.

The Lord Jesus brought him through each developmental milestone. His journey of overcoming developmental delays have been fraught hard. Jesus answered each and every prayer. Joshua held up his head, turned his neck from side to side, then started to roll over, and to sit up. Everything that you take for granted with a baby’s typical development, was covered by prayer and accomplished through faith.

Walking was a grand miraculous coup d’etat, though. Joshua never needed that special chair for children with cerebral palsy. He does not have cerebral palsy. He actually never crept. He just stood up and walked. It was unbelievable but a testament to the power of the God we serve, and the power of faith through prayer unto Him.

Joshua climbs, jumps and runs. Talking proved to be another big challenge. Joshua would not say a word. He had recently started preschool and the recommendation was to transfer him into the nonverbal class for children who do not speak so he could learn other ways to communicate to compensate for his lack of speech.

I would not agree with this recommendation. I know I came across as a mom in denial, the ostrich with her head stuck under the sand. I just did not believe this was the will of God for Joshua, nor for us, that we would never hear his voice. I prayed a special prayer as we all prayed. I prayed that Joshua would say words, and go onto to sing God’s praises, and then speak in paragraphs.

Joshua started to say words. He presented in his preschool graduation ceremony the following year, by spelling his name, J - O - S - H - U - A, Joshua! He loved to sing his alphabet and to count, but it was an account of his teacher, the following year, in his last year of preschool that really brought home to us how specifically God hears our prayers and answers our heart’s desires.

His teacher explained that every lunch period, Joshua would sing a medley of praise and worship songs. Joshua came to be thought of as the preacher, and lunch time as church time.

One particular afternoon, while cycling on his tricycle with one of his teachers, it was a practice to take the children cycling through the hallways of the school; Joshua sang loudly as he cycled, ‘I will follow Jesus!’ It was so endearing that as he passed the different adults working in the school, going about their daily work routine, they joined in behind Joshua, so that he had created a little Jesus parade weaving through the halls of his preschool. This from the toddler, who two years earlier, they were concerned he would not speak.

He sang at church, as clearly as ever into the microphone, ‘I am redeemed / I am bought with a price / Jesus has changed my whole life / If anybody ask you, just who I am / won’t you tell them, that I am redeemed.’ Everyone at church was in shock! I am learning more and more never to underestimate the power of our Jesus to answer prayers, if we will only believe Him.

When Joshua graduated from preschool, and started kindergarten, it was very rocky. His teacher expressed his unhappiness, as he would cry, long tear drops but then he would lift his hands and say ‘alleluia!’ As we gathered to pray, in a home prayer meeting over this the Lord guiding Joshua into finding his niche in the school district, Joshua positioned himself at the door as everyone left, after the prayer was over. He sang for everyone as they were leaving, a Bob Marley classic ‘I wake up this morning / stare at the rising sun / three little birds sitting on my window / singing this is my message to you / Don’t worry about a thing / Every little thing is going to be alright .’ It was alright. He was transferred into a class which was more interactive, a lot more hands - on activities, which he enjoyed.

He told us at Easter ‘Jesus is alive!’ We do not know how it is Joshua determines the messages he shares, the songs he sings, how he learns them so well, correct tone and rhythm and all; except to say, it is the wonder of Jesus’ love, His prayer answering care for our every need.

Joshua’s visits to the eye doctors reveal yet another miracle. The doctors can not understand how is it that Joshua has very little vision in his right eye, and in his left eye vision only at the center as the peripheral vision is very weak; yet, Joshua, sees, he reads, he recognizes faces, colors, objects, finds his way around the playground, to jump, and slide, he sees to run.

Joshua loves music and is now practicing to try to play songs by ear. Last night we could make out the melody of the chords of one of his favorite songs, ‘Who built the ark? / Noah, Noah? / Who built the ark? / Noah built the ark / The animals went in two by two...’

Joshua is getting ready to enter another phase of his journey, as is the norm, with each new phase, it is preceded by upset and concern all around. I am starting to realize, that it tends to be the way the Lord Jesus signals, that He is going to be doing something very awesome, so we need to get ready!

We eagerly await the next miraculous outpouring the Lord Jesus has in store for this journey of faith. One milestone, one challenge at a time. We look forward to the continued breaking down of the walls that have surrounded him, threatening to shut him off from fulfilling his potential. Brick by brick though, Jesus has been tearing down the walls, through faith in Him, by prayer, worship, praise, thanksgiving, and standing on His promises as expressed in His Words, the Bible, to each and every one of us.

Miracles are ours, whatever challenges we face, just trust in the Lord Jesus who is Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He is in front of our challenges and at the end of it. He will see us through.

I share my testimony to give you christian words of encouragement. Believe in the Lord Jesus now for your miracle, trust Him to see you through your challenge. Pray and pour it all out to Him. He is able to do all things, above all that we can expect or think. Extend your faith to beyond your situation. I am committing whole heartedly to walk by faith, remembering, ‘faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen . . .’ (Hebrews 11 : 1)

If you would like to give your christian words of encouragement for others to read, just submit your testimony on our testimony page.

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